Samaras’ best time for sex

An outtake from PM Antonis Samaras’ 2012 campaign with New Democracy was leaked yesterday evening and it quickly flooded Greek Facebook & Twitter users. In it, Samaras discloses what’s the best time of the day for sex.

The fact that the video makes the otherwise strict and distant Greek politician look more human has raised suspicions that the video was not leaked by accident but on purpose.

The Greek Prime Minister prefers having sex in the morning but, unfortunately for him, most young people do it at nights…

New Democracy’s electoral base is mainly composed by older generations. I remember going to their main pre-election rally in June 2012 and almost 80% of the people there were more than 50 years old.

Which is why one of the jokes around, about why Antonis Samaras’ party hasn’t made up its mind yet on whether they will have an outdoors rally in Athens, is that they are afraid that the elders will catch a cold and won’t go to vote for their party.

Hitchcock, Twitter and the Holy Spirit

This is a photo Alexis Tsipras releasing a bird. The photo was taken on the day of the Epiphany (6/1/15). The bird symbolises the Holy Spirit.

Tsipras Epiphany

SYRIZA is often attacked by Ne Democracy MPs of being a bunch of atheists which is why the photo quickly made a certain impression. During the past few months SYRIZA has been trying to play down these (otherwise non-political) accusations by visiting monasteries, religious leaders and even the Pope. Outgoing PM Antonis Samaras has even said some days ago that if SYRIZA wins the religious icons that decorate almost every public building, from ministries to schools, will be removed.

The photo of Tsipras releasing the bird was used as a poster for an online event where Tsipras answered questions via Twitter.

Tsipras twitter

And this is a cartoon by Dimitris Hantzopoulos (TA NEA daily). It combines all of the above with Hitchcock’s legendary movie “The Birds”.

Hatzopoulos Tsipras birds

-Mr Hitchcock, one of these birds is the Holy Spirit. What are the rest? -It doesn’t matter, my boy. The important thing is the suspense.

Grey-haired men pestering children

The Greek political parties have started broadcasting their political ads and thought it might be interesting to translate some of them for (fun) you.

New Democracy (ruling party) has produced three videos so far. The first one is a desperate (in terms of acting, at least) attempt to show Antonis Samaras close to the younger generation (the majority of ND’s voters are above their 40s or even 50s).

The reference to the stadium is one more cheap attempt to attract votes of supporters of AEK Athens football club. They have been asking for a new stadium for more than a decade now and New Democracy is promising to make their dream too. I loved two details in this video.

The first one is that our PM indirectly admits that Greece, the country he has been governing for the past 2,5 years, is not a normal and serious country yet.

The second one is a symbolism. Greek youth faces unprecedented high unemployment and Samaras tells them “keep on training and we will keep on working”. I hope this was not some sort of subliminal message.

Their second video is even more ridiculous and desperate to use anything that happens in order to demonise SYRIZA. In this video New Democracy plays the security card in the same way it has adopted scare-mongering as its main strategy not only to win the 2012 elections (I can still remember them saying that we will be queuing for bread if SYRIZA won) but to control reactions and unrest during their administration. Samaras goes as far as using (again) the Charlie Hebdo story in order to stress his alignment with the “Fortress Europe” approach.

Their third video is an ode to individualism. A working man, insecure and alone, is having his thoughts about Greece.

He is scared he will lose his job if SYRIZA wins. This is how they want people to think. Just keep on xeroxing and shut the fuck up.

SYRIZA tried to play around with more positive words. Lots of crisis porn footage, the usual lock somewhere and a wind of change somewhere in between. Big nice words like dignity and justice that verify the vagueness of what they want to do.

Another video by SYRIZA is this.

It reminded me of an older ad produced by PASOK, the ailing coalition partner of New Democracy. Papandreou and Tsipras get prepared to address the crowd, they walk from the backstage to the main scene like Rocky Balboa was heading to face his opponents. Lots of former PASOK politicians have jumped to SYRIZA in the meantime and there are more and more people calling SYRIZA as the new PASOK. So this similarity looks even funnier now.

And last but not least, the video of Independent Greeks. I decided to translate it because it’s funny, despite the fact that the party might not manage to gain any seats at the Parliament after the elections. Their only hope is to reach the 3% threshold, gain 5-10 seats and be invited by SYRIZA to govern together.

As Greek satirical site Luben.tv put it “Why on earth do you keep showing us grey-haired men caressing children?”

Politicized antidepressants

A friend was diagnosed with depression. His doctor gave him a prescription with some pills. One of them is called Cipralex (some read this as Tsipralex which sounds a lot like the name of SYRIZA’s leader, Alexis Tsipras).

cipralex-filmtabl-20-mg-98-stk-800x800

The irony is that the pharmaceutical company that produces these pills [Lundbeck, Denmark] has a starfish for its logo. Looks like a red star to me.

I think the Greek PM Antonis Samaras has been taking too many of these pills and kind of lost it with his pre-election rhetoric. His last scaremongering bit: “The Greeks want to remain in Europe and do not want to move to North Korea because Syriza wants to”. ROFL

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Photo courtesy of The Press Project

 

The airborne battalion of anarchists

This is how ANT1 TV reported the riots that took place in the Exarchia district of Athens on 6/12/14. The journalist, Yorgos Karaivaz, have surpassed Nobelist poets and imagined himself in one of the fiercest battlegrounds of human history. Enjoy the description and ponder the reasons why a nationwide TV station would go this low to describe in this way an otherwise pretty simple news story.

Greek demo dress code: plain clothes

An interesting video was filmed last night during the extensive riots that took place after the demo in honour of 15-year old Alexis Grigoropoulos who was assassinated by a policeman on December 2008.

Greek demonstrators often mention the existence of plain clothes policemen and the infiltration of agent provocateurs in demonstrations in Greece. I too used to believe that this was some kind of a conspiracy theory until I started attending demos after 2009. International media have been reluctant to report on this (with some exceptions) with correspondents finding it difficult to believe that such totalitarian practices are still being used in an EU country.

But this video, filmed last night in Exarchia district of Athens and posted on YouTube by Sto Kokkino radio, shows clearly a big number of what would otherwise look like “a band of hoodies or violent rioters” passing by a team of riot police, heading towards the district’s square where anarchists had set up barricades.

The Greek government does not acknowledge the use of such practices, nor is it expected to comment on the issue after the publication of this video.

Upd: Here’s a second video from the same place/time (Thanks Janine Louloudi).

Video details police violence in Exarchia

In a response to the video posted by Chloe Kritharas, the chairman of the Union of Policemen said that the Greek Police has launched (one more) investigation about the incident. He added that according to his information by his colleagues, the first in a series of mistakes was made by the kiosk owner who refused to sell any of his products to the raiding riot policemen. He also said that the policemen have left money on the counter of the kiosk and that, normally, they should have arrested the kiosk owner in the end for refusing to serve them.

Here’s the video of the Policemen Union spokesman.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2ak6ok_%CE%BC%CF%80%CE%B1%CE%BB%CE%AC%CF%83%CE%BA%CE%B1%CF%82_news

Clientelism, our new Deputy Minister

The government appointed a new Deputy Minister, his name Giorgos Georgantas. One might wonder why the crumbling government chose him, out of all their options, for the position of Deputy Minister of Education.

In civilized countries, a politician like Georgantas would have quit politics since the publication of the video that follows. In Greece, these politicians, not only they get away with it morally unpunished, but they are rewarded. Because these politcians, low-key in Athens but very active in their constituencies, are the cornerstone of Greek clientelism.

See the video from a local meeting back in 2012, just before the elections that brought New Democracy to power. Giorgos Georgantas speaks to fellow New Democracy members from the region of Kilkis in northern Greece. He gives them directions to increase their pressure to all the citizens who have benefited (sic) by New Democracy.

Yes, this guy is a Minister now.

And he was rewarded for his services to the party.

There is a high possibility that we will have elections in the next three months.

You can imagine what this guy will be doing in the run up to these elections.

At the end of the day, I should’t complain, at least some people will have a job for some months.

Syriza and other disasters: 10 top scaremongering quotes

A list of the top 10 scaremongering quotes compiled by The Frog blog about the prospect of leftist anti-bailout party, Syriza, winning the next elections in Greece

godzillasyriza1415175526

1. ”…Lending to the country will cease!”

“Markets are reacting to the prospect of a Syriza victory, owing to its lead in the polls. They’re saying ‘guys, if you are going to hold elections in three months and make Syriza the government, we are informing you that we do not want to lend the country any money”.
Health Minister Makis Voridis

2. “…there won’t be a single euro left in the banks”

“If [Syriza) are ever given the chance [to govern], which they won’t be, then the money will leave the banks, there won’t be a euro left”.
Prime Minister Antonis Samaras

3. “…Not one euro will remain in the banks (I, at least, will take my money abroad)”

In imitation of the prime minister, one ‘usual suspect’ took the issue a bit further:
“Syriza’s secret agenda is the drachma. So, if the government falls not one euro will remain in the banks”.
New Democracy lawmaker Adonis Georgiadis

Bonus: He went on to say that he would ‘take out’  his bank deposits before Syriza even forms a government.

“I’m not going to let [Giorgos] Varemenos (Syriza MP and a former journalist) take my money,” he added during a TV debate with the Syriza MP.

After the general outcry that followed, Georgiadis, without taking back what he said about a bank run, admitted that he should have been ‘less raw’ in his remarks, but insisted that it would be like “people were committing suicide” if Syriza won the elections.

4. ”… ATMs would shut down”

“If he [Alexis Tsipras] plays tough guy in Europe, it won’t be long before ATM machines shut down in Greece, just like they did in Cyprus”.
Government spokesperson Sofia Voultepsi

5. “…Pensions will be lost!”

“If [Syriza’s declarations are implemented], I assure Greek pensioners that their worst nightmare will be become a reality when they go to the bank and do not get their pension
Labour Minister Yiannis Vroutsis

6. “…Mayhem will ensue”

“The markets are doing what they are doing to us because of the hint that Syriza will come. If it comes, then mayhem will ensue”.
Development Minister Nikos Dendias

7. “…We will return to the drachma in one week!”

If [Alexis Tsipras] does what he said at the Thessaloniki Trade Fair, we will be back to the drachma in a week”.
New Democracy lawmaker Adonis Georgiadis (he deserved another mention in the top 10)

8. “…the country will fall apart in 48 hours!”

“If Syriza becomes [the country’s] first party, the country will fall apart, no matter how many hands of elders Mr Tsipras kisses and how many foreigners he hangs out with”.
Former deputy prime minister and prominent Pasok member Theodoros Pangalos

Bonus: Pasok’s historic member voted for New Democracy so that Syriza would not win in the elections.

9. “…Lafazanis’ image will adorn the new 1,000 drachma note!”

“ [If Syriza wins the elections], two options are available. The country will either beg its creditors for an even harsher memorandum or it will return to the drachma to the great satisfaction of Mr Lafazanis (a Syriza MP), whose image will most likely adorn the new 1,000 drachma note”.
Administrative Reform Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis    

10. “…they will burn and kill!”
“There will be so much hunger and stench that all those jumping up and down about the smiling boy Tsipras, who shakes it up before the Pope, or Dourou, will be on the streets and will burn and will kills”.
Former deputy prime minister and prominent Pasok member Theodoros Pangalos Deservedly tops the list

Originally appeared in Greek on thefrog.gr – translate by The Press Project

The one-eyed Antichrist of Islam is here…

No, this is not a joke. This is the front page of a national daily newspaper from Greece. You can read some more about Eleftheri Ora here: Why is such a newspaper allowed to exist?. In the meantime, here’s the translation of the title:

The Jihadis are spreading the news: the one-eyed Antichrist of Islam is here.

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And, yes, they unashamedly describe these photos as “real”.